I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

“Hehe, I’ve always been this strong.”

An Lin flicked his hair and made his way toward Tian Lingling.

He surveyed her cute features and petite physique and couldn’t help but sigh again. “Sigh, it’s been two years, and you haven’t even grown a little taller!”

“Wah! This is the first thing you say to me after two years?!”

Tian Lingling completely exploded after he brought up her height in the conversation and rained a series of fists onto An Lin.

Da Bai stood off to the side with a disappointed expression. “Big Brother An, is this one of the beautiful women on Earth you were referring to? Am I blind, or have you gone blind? Woof!”

Tian Lingling stared at the white dog in shock.

Da Bai had spoken in beast language so the meaning behind his words could be telepathically transmitted without the need for translation.

“Wah! Even your beast pet is mocking me, how could you do this!”

She had never been mocked by a dog before and the anger fueled her to increase the force behind her flailing fists.

An Lin: “…”

Green River Sword Immortal descended from afar and welcomed An Lin with a smile. “Mr. An Lin, thank you for your help!”

“No need to thank me, we’re already old friends.” An Lin waved his hand.

At this moment, the seven cultivators behind An Lin also began to descend from the sky.

None of the students obscured their auras and each of them gave off a sense of invincibility and unfathomable power.

“Haha, these are the reinforcements I promised you guys. Where are the enemies? They’re itching for some exercise.” An Lin turned to Green River Sword Immortal with a smile.

Green River Sword Immortal’s eyelids twitched, and he suddenly had the urge to vomit blood.

A reinforcement army of eight Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators?

What the f*ck, just An Lin alone was able to completely crush the Fire Poison Cult, now there were eight of them in total?

This was like using a cannon to blast a mosquito!

Tian Lingling was also stunned into silence, clearly not expecting An Lin to bring along a group of Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators with him.

There was only the Dark Sorcery Cult left, how were they supposed to distribute the enemies between them? Should they all spit out a mouthful of saliva and end the battle there?

Within the Five-Colored Mountain, all the Dark Sorcery Cult cultivators had already been scared sh*tless.

“Holy f*ck! Where did these cultivators come from?!”

Jiang Peng’s legs gave out from under him as he stared at the eight cultivators in the distance.

They had finally held on until the Fire Poison Cult reinforcements had arrived and were preparing to storm out and slaughter their enemies.

But the Fire Poison Cult was completely vanquished in the blink of an eye by one person!

And then seven other Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators also came to join the party?

How were they supposed to fight? F*ck fighting, they should just kill themselves!

Soon, the Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators from outside had surrounded their hiding place.

“Quick, activate the defensive spell formation to its greatest extent!”

Jiang Peng yelled at the other cultivators as he brought out his phone and opened his WeChat group.

This was a group by the name of “Poison Poison Poison”.

Dark Sorcery King: “Fellow cultivators, I’ve been surrounded and trapped by nine Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators in the Five-Colored Mountain, please advise how I can escape, I’ll be awaiting a reply, the situation is very urgent!”

The group chat soon exploded.

Holy Centipede: “Holy f*ck, did you forget to look at the Almanac today? How did you end up surrounded by nine Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators?”

Enlightened Bronze Corpse: “What the hell did you do?”

Dark Sorcery King sent through an emoji with tears streaking down its face. “Now’s not the time to talk about that, tell me how to escape, I’m about to die soon!”

Enlightened Silver Corpse: “Didn’t the Fire Poison King head over to help you?”

Dark Sorcery King: “the Fire Poison King had just arrived with his fellow cult members before they were all insta-killed by one of the aforementioned nine cultivators.”

Holy Centipede: “…”

Enlightened Bronze Corpse: “…”

Enlightened Silver Corpse: “…”

Daoist Crimson Python: “…”

Jiang Peng stared at the bunch of ellipses on the screen while feeling like he was about to vomit blood.

Dark Sorcery King: “Please give me some ideas! I really am about to die!”

The chat bar on his phone suddenly disappeared.

System notification: “Daoist Crimson Python has removed you from the ‘Poison Poison Poison’ group chat.”

Jiang Peng: “…”

Boom!

The defensive spell formation shattered at this moment.

“What happened? There wasn’t even a clash, how did the spell formation collapse?!” Jiang Peng exclaimed in shock.

“I don’t know, cult leader, it looks like a weak point in the spell formation was exploited!” All the blood had drained from the other cultivators’ faces as they stared up at the cultivators flying toward them.

Jiang Peng immediately chose to run for it without uttering a single word.

The anguished yells of the Dark Sorcery Cult members erupted from behind him, and he heard a heavy voice behind him after a mere three seconds.

“Are you one of the evil cultivators of the mortal world? Care to battle me?”

Jiang Peng was scared sh*tless by the voice behind him.

He immediately turned to find that he had already been surrounded by four cultivators.

“How about you pick one among us?”

Another man in a black robe spoke up with a cold expression.

Jiang Peng was about to cry. What the f*ck, pick what? Pick his executioner?!

F*ck that!

Flesh-Eating Bug Storm!

Jiang Peng’s body quivered, and a thick black mist flew out from all directions like a black wave.

This was his last resort. The black mist was formed by countless flesh-eating sorcery bugs. Those bugs were even able to absorb vital energy. Normal cultivators would die upon contact with them.

“What the hell is this?!”

Sure enough, the four cultivators immediately retreated after a series of startled yells.

Jiang Peng didn’t even have time to heave a sigh of relief before he was slashed in half by a slash of sword intent over a hundred feet in length. Immediately following this were flames, lightning, and flying swords…

Boom!

An energy cloud of various colors erupted in the sky, making heaven and earth tremble with its power.

The sky soon turned clear again after the spectacular fireworks display.

The Dark Sorcery King had been reduced to a plume of smoke.

Tang Ximen sighed in disappointment. “That’s it?”

Hu Guan was also feeling quite disappointed. “I think we shouldn’t have ganged upon him. Perhaps if we went one by one it would at least been a tiny bit more of a challenge.”

Xuanyuan Cheng and Yao Mingxi also returned to the Five-Colored Mountain in silent disappointment.

An Lin rode on Da Bai’s back with his head held high among the group of powerful cultivators.

“Not bad, Fake Daoist Priest, who would have thought that you already have a Spirit Nurturing Final Stage beast pet.”

Tian Lingling couldn’t help but stroke Da Bai’s soft fur.

It was such a pleasant sensation, better than the most high-quality toys, and she simply couldn’t stop.

“Little girl, please stop forcing such a perverted gesture on me, woof!”

Da Bai peered at Tian Lingling and wagged his tongue in displeasure.

Tian Lingling rolled her eyes and continued to stroke his fur.

Hmm, so soft, so fluffy, and so warm!

“An Lin, everything has been taken care of here. Do you want to come with me to an Internet cafe?” Liu Qianhuan raised her eyebrows with a dainty smile.

“Hey, don’t forget what we’re here to do. There are only seven days until the Shou Yang Tomb opens, don’t be late,” An Lin cautioned.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go by myself then. I’ll see you at Changbai Mountain in four to five days, team leader!” Liu Qianhuan waved a slender hand and jumped onto her staff before flying away. “Bye!”

An Lin: “…”

“Fake Daoist Priest, it looks like your authority as the team leader isn’t really respected much,” Tian Lingling mocked him from the side.

“An Lin, there’s not much going on at the moment anyway, so I’m going to visit some friends in the mortal world as well. See you at Changbai Mountain in five days.” Tang Ximen also bade farewell to him.

“I’m gonna go find Huang Shanshan to exchange for a few more missiles, so call me if anything comes up.” Xuanyuan Cheng patted An Lin’s shoulder before departing.

“Haha, I’m going to take Su Qianyun on a tour of the mortal world.” Xu Xiaolan clasped onto Su Qianyun’s arm and also bade farewell to An Lin.

An Lin massaged his brows in resignation. “Whatever, go do whatever you want, let’s meet at Changbai Mountain in five days.”

“No… Big Brother An, I’ll follow you wherever you go!” Yao Mingxi announced with a scorching gaze.

“Me too!” Hu Guan chimed in with a serious expression.

An Lin almost blacked out.

F*ck, all the girls are gone but these two guys are being so clingy!

“Go! Get away from me! I don’t need you guys following me around,” An Lin yelled.

“Puahahaha…” Tian Lingling couldn’t help but laugh. “Fake Daoist Priest, who would have thought that you’re just as good with men even after two whole years!”

An Lin’s face darkened, and he only managed to chase his two retarded superfans away after much effort.

Green River Sword Immortal and the other cultivators also left, leaving An Lin and Tian Lingling alone.

“Why haven’t you left?” An Lin blinked with curiosity.

A light blush appeared on Tian Lingling’s petite features. “I haven’t seen you in two years, I want a chance to talk to you…”

An Lin’s lips twitched. “I would’ve almost been fooled if it wasn’t for the fact that you’re still stroking Da Bai’s fur.”

Da Bai: “…”

Tian Lingling: “…”