Chapter 158
For the life of her, Su Jianan could not imagine that she would see this kind of scene when she stepped into the house.
On the way home, she had been mulling over whether or not she should tell Lu Boyan about her work trip.
Lu Boyan wanted things between them to return to the way things were when it all started. Based on their interactions at the beginning of their marriage, it meant that neither she nor Lu Boyan would interfere in each others’ lives. She could go wherever she wanted to go without informing him and vice versa.
Still, all the sweet experiences between them for the past half a year made it difficult for her to believe that Lu Boyan had really changed.
But now, she was able to believe it.
Lu Boyan was home earlier than she was, and he was in the living room, sitting on the couch. A bunch of photos were spread out on the coffee table before him.
The photos were a replay of the scenes last night when she was outside the bar with Jiang Shaokai. Everything was captured: Jiang Shaokai touching her face, Jiang Shaokai embracing her and holding her up. Everything was displayed before Lu Boyan right then.
“Lu Boyan!” She rushed into the living room and snatched up the photos. “Where did you get this? Did you hire someone to follow Jiang Shaokai and me?”
“As if I have that kind of time.” Lu Boyan sneered coldly. “I had to buy these photos from the editor of a magazine. Cost me quite a bit of money. But if I didn’t spend that money, do you know what the headline of today’s entertainment section would have been? Mrs. President of Lu Enterprises’ extramarital affair.”
Su Jianan could not believe her ears. She could not believe that Lu Boyan could utter the word “affair” so flippantly. “You won’t even listen to my explanation?” She asked, staring at him in disbelief.
“If I’m not mistaken, both Jiang Shaokai and Luo Xiaoxi had mentioned before that there’s a person that you like.” Lu Boyan gave the photos on the coffee table a glance. A mocking smile formed on his lips. “So the person you like is the young master of the Jiang Family, huh? The day we got married, he showed up at the Civil Affairs Bureau, begging you to leave with him. Why didn’t you get into his car back then?”
Lu Boyan really had changed. He had reverted to the way he was when they first got married: cold, biting, imposing, a man whose actions left no room for arguments.
Su Jianan stared at him with a foreign look in her eyes. Her long lashes trembled slightly like the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings.
The only thing she felt was the sudden voidness in her heart. Then she felt warm moisture on her cheeks. When she touched her face, she was surprised to find that her own tears had caused it.
She was crying, which was shocking even to her.
She calmly dried her tears. Then she shut her eyes forcibly, suppressing another round of tears which threatened to fall.
“That’s right. I like Jiang Shaokai.” She forced the corner of her lips upwards, though there was neither force nor conviction behind her next words. “Why didn’t I leave with him that day, you asked? Because he and I share the same dream. We both want to become brilliant medical examiners. If I asked him to protect me, then he would have to give up his dream and then go back to take over his family business. That’s the only way he could have the power to stand toe to toe with my father. I didn’t want him to give up his dream for me, so I married you instead. But that’s alright. We work together after all, so I can see him pretty much every day. In fact, I see more of him than you every day.”
That speech had come out of her mouth, eloquently. But the truth was that not a single word of it had gone through her brain. She was not even aware of the things she had just said.
She thought Lu Boyan would be furious; however, all he did was smirk at her, “Very well.”
So he really did not care whom she liked. He had no feelings for her, after all.
“Why don’t we get a divorce.” Su Jianan had uttered the two words that she would never have imagined herself saying. “That way, you don’t have to keep up the act anymore. You don’t have to pretend to be nice to me. Whatever that happens to me in the future will no longer be your responsibility.”
A dark look formed on Lu Boyan’s face instantly. He walked over, fixing her with his cold stare. “You can’t even wait two years, can you?”
“That’s right,” Su Jianan answered flatly. “Especially with how weird you were acting these few days. Two years will be too long if I have to go through that every day. Why don’t we just end things right now?”
“Then, what? You and Jiang Shaokai can finally jump into each others’ arms, and walk off into the sunset?” With every single word he uttered, a lethal and potent kind of danger radiated from Lu Boyan’s eyes.
“After our divorce, whomever I will be with is no longer any of your business,” Su Jianan said, staring right into his cold eyes. “I won’t take a single cent of your alimony payment. You just have to sign the papers, just like when we got married. I won’t take anything away from you other than my own body. Let’s give each other the freedom we both deserve.”
He could not believe that she was talking about their divorce so naturally. She was so decisive and firm as if she had been thinking about it for a long time.
“Su Jianan, I don’t want to look at you right now,” Lu Boyan growled, squeezing the words out through clenched teeth.
Su Jianan smiled, “You won’t ever have to see me again starting from tomorrow. Prepare the divorce papers.”
After that, she walked upstairs, taking step after step. When she brushed past Lu Boyan, the tears she had been suppressing finally spilled from her eyes.
She bit down on her lips, refusing to let her sobs be heard. Closing the door of her room, she dashed into the bathroom just as she lost all control of her emotions. She clenched her fists and cried.
How could Lu Boyan even think that she had feelings for Jiang Shaokai?
She had been in love with Lu Boyan ever since she was 10. As a clueless teenager girl, she had kept her hefty emotions locked up in her heart back then. She had found out all he could about him, collecting every news report and every photo of him inside a secret folder. Not even Luo Xiaoxi knew of the folder’s existence.
At that time, her pulse would race, and her words would stumble at the mere mention of “Lu Boyan”.
When her wish finally came true, and she married him, she had carefully concealed this part of herself from him, not allowing him a single hint of her true feelings. She had done it out of fear; she feared being slighted by him, that he would feel burdened by her feelings. She was contented to just stand by his side during the most important events of his life.
She had loved him enough to lower herself to such pitiable standards, and yet he had doubted her feelings from the very start.
Su Jianan turned on the tap to cover up the sound of her sobs. She slumped against the bathroom counter, her hands clutching her chest; she still failed to locate the source of that wound.
That did not change the fact that there was a sharp pain beneath her palm, as if someone was twisting a knife there repeatedly. It hurt so much that she wanted to die. In fact, it hurt so much that she felt like she could die the next second.
Divorce…
She never thought she would one day say that word so casually. At that moment when she said it, a blade had sliced her heart open. But could Lu Boyan even see it?
She once told herself that although two years of marriage was neither too long nor too short, it would at least be enough to let her live the rest of her life without regret.
Fate was not on their side; they could not even make their marriage last for two years.
If Lu Boyan had already gotten tired of her and their married life, if he no longer wished to see her, then she would let him go and give him back his freedom.
This was the last thing she could do for Lu Boyan.
Su Jianan raised her head. Then she cupped her hands and splashed water on her face to wash away the tear stains. She returned to her room to pack her things.
City Z’s weather was vastly different from City A’s. This time around, the weather in City Z would still be warm; she picked a few thin, short-sleeved outfits and placed them into her suitcase. After that, she went to get her toiletries and other daily essentials.
She had been assigned to go on work trips before, so she knew the things she needed like the back of her hand. Today, however, it was like something had come over her, and she suddenly had no idea what she was doing. Every time she checked, she had either taken the wrong item or had forgotten something. It even took her quite a while to realize that the shawl coat she was holding in hand was not the T-shirt that she had intended to take.
After packing her luggage, Su Jianan let herself crumble to the carpet beside the bed. She sat there, glancing around, taking in the room where she had stayed for half a year. Hot tears stung her eyes once again.
Tonight might be the last night she stayed in this room.
She buried her head into the edge of the bed as her hands caressed the soft sheets. Before, she had thought that she would be able to stay here with Lu Boyan for two years. But now, it had only been half a year…
“Young Madam,” said Aunt Liu, “dinner is ready. When are you coming down to eat?”
“I…” She had wanted to say that she was not hungry. But she knew what Aunt Liu would say, “Nonsense. How can you not be hungry when it’s already mealtime?” In the end, Su Jianan went with, “Aunt Liu, I ate something before I came home. I don’t think I’ll have dinner tonight.”
Aunt Liu knew that Su Jianan and Lu Boyan had been fighting with each other for the past two days. “Why don’t I bring something up?” Aunt Liu asked tentatively, “You should at least eat something, alright? Your health is the most important thing, you know.”
When Luo Xiaoxi broke down that time, Su Jianan had also told Luo Xiaoxi the same thing. Health was important. One should take good care of one’s health, no matter what.
Right, I still had a work trip tomorrow.
“Okay,” Su Jianan said softly. There was no strength behind her voice at all. “Aunt Liu, sorry to trouble you.”
“It’s no trouble. No trouble at all,” Aunt Liu said hurriedly, happy that Su Jianan was willing to eat something. Aunt Liu ran downstairs to get the food.
A while later, Aunt Liu brought rice, some vegetables, and a bowl of soup upstairs. Su Jianan did not have much appetite. She felt as if her stomach was filled with a ball of gas; she did not even have the desire to open her mouth, let alone put food in it.
She ate without actually tasting and was done after two mouthfuls. Her tears fell into her bowl as she once again thought about her impending divorce with Lu Boyan.
She could finally understand what Luo Xiaoxi was feeling back then. Everything felt heavy as if the whole world was pressing down on her heart, suffocating her to no end.
Su Jianan poured the food away. Then she called Jiang Shaokai.
“Let me go,” she spoke calmly into the phone. “I need this trip.”
By the time she returned from the trip, both she and Lu Boyan would be calmer. They could settle the divorce agreement then. After that, the so-called “married couple” would go back to becoming strangers.
There was a drawn-out pause on Jiang Shaokai’s end as he hesitated. In the end, he asked, “Jianan, is something going on with you?”
“Just trivial matters. Nothing I can’t handle.” Su Jianan wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I need to be away from City A for a few days. And I think this trip is a good opportunity to do that.” The trip could occupy her time so that she would not have to wallow and think too much. Besides, it could also give her some time away from Lu Boyan.
“Fine. You go, then,” Jiang Shaokai said. “But be warned that the public security of that small town isn’t as good as our city’s. You need to be extremely cautious. Bring all your necessities with you,” he urged.
At that moment, Jiang Shaokai’s urging sounded exceptionally gentle. Su Jianan laughed, “Since when do you nag so much? I know all of that already. That’s all, then. I’ll contact you again if there’s anything.”
After hanging up, Su Jianan buried her head in the crook of her arms. Even as her shoulders trembled slightly, she was hell-bent on not making any sound as she cried. She let her tears stain the skin on her arms.
She had to leave as early as 8:30 am tomorrow morning. She had to rest early tonight.
Using that as an excuse, she forced herself into bed, though she felt no desire to sleep at all. Her eyes, now dried up and unfocused, remained opened wide.
After that, she felt her head growing heavy and muddled; she had no idea when and how sleep had taken her. It felt more like she was in a dream.
In this dream, she and Lu Boyan were married with the blessing of a lot of people. Their married life was filled with love, where Lu Boyan loved and treated her like a little lady. Everyone was envious of her, “Jianan, you’ve married the greatest husband that ever lived.”
She felt that was the case too. Not even her brother, who loved her dearly, could do what Lu Boyan had done: making her happy all the time, coming for her the moment she was in danger.
But it all came crashing down one day. Lu Boyan wanted a divorce. Coldly, he handed her the divorce papers, asking her to sign them.
She was crying in the dream, asking Lu Boyan for a reason, asking him how did they become like this. Lu Boyan gave her no explanations other than a threat, “You’d better sign the papers obediently.”
All those moments of sweet features had felt so real. She could feel it in her bones that Lu Boyan had been doing it out of sincerity. But how? How did everything come to this?
Why were they suddenly getting a divorce?