To My Dear Mr. Huo

After arriving home, Yang Wenchang had shot her a look, wearing a vaguely sheepish expression on his face. Huo Jinyao it seemed, had yet to wake up.

Su Qingsang didn’t realize the reason for the look Yang Wencheng had sent her until she caught sight of Huo Jinyao’s hand. The drip had done its job. However, due to Yang Wenchang’s lack of familiarity with the procedure, when he had inserted the needle, some bleeding had occurred.

Su Qingsang eyed Yang Wenchang after noticing the bloodstains on Huo Jinyao’s palm. However, she did not have the heart to chide him for it.

If anyone was to be blamed for it, it should be herself, for running off to criticize Liu Tongjia instead of staying behind to watch over Huo Jinyao.

“You can take your leave first, I’ll take care of him.”

“Alright.” Yang Wenchang nodded his head. After a while, he decided to speak up to warn Su Qingsang, “Huo Jinyao woke up, just for a short time, a little while ago. He fell back asleep again soon after.”

“It’s alright. He’s likely groggy because of the drip. He should wake up more naturally later.”

Yang Wenchang breathed a sigh of relief, reassured. Su Qingsang was a doctor, and she would know how to care for Huo Jinyao.

Su Qingsang had only eaten a little, scrounging up a meal of whatever food had been available that that night. She had just cooked some porridge earlier, and it was now warm and ready for consumption. However, Huo Jinyao had still not woken up to eat it.

She had not expected someone who looked so healthy every day, could have succumbed so easily to a simple cold, or experience such severe symptoms.

After Ms. Yu had packed up, Su Qingsang sent her home.

Now as she sat at Huo Jinyao’s side, she glanced at him, holding her laptop as she waited for him to wake up.

As she thought back on what Liu Tongjia had recounted, Su Qingsang began to surf the web for any news of said past events. However, she could find nothing on it and had to assume that a cover-up of the incident had taken place.

Or perhaps, ten years ago with the Internet far less developed, such local news would not have been uploaded.

She was still debating whether to make time to ask Old Master Huo for answers when Huo Jinyao awoke from his slumber.

Su Qingsang heard him stirring and stood up promptly. Upon opening his eyes, Huo Jinyao noticed her immediately.

“Old…”

“Do not speak.”

He had slept for nearly a day. Su Qingsang poured him a glass of warm water and helped Huo Jinyao sit up so he could hydrate himself.

Once Huo Jinyao had drunk the glass of warm water, he immediately gained more color in his cheeks.

“My wife?”

“You’re ill.” Su Qingsang glanced at Huo Jinyao and spoke in a low voice. “It’s not even summer and yet you’re bathing in cold water. It’s no wonder you fell sick! Do you think you are invincible?”

Huo Jinyao thought about the mail he had received before, and he could only smile. Still, he refrained from speech.

Su Qingsang knew that Huo Jinyao was probably in a poor mood, and she lay off reproaching him. She raised a hand to Huo Jinyao’s forehead. “You’re no longer burning up. However, you still have to continue taking your medication.

“Wait here, I’ve cooked some porridge since you are sick. Have some food before you take the medicine.”

“Alright.”

Huo Jinyao did not object to her advice. Realizing it, Su Qingsang quickly went out and returned with the bowl of porridge.

“If you dislike the taste of this, I make no apologies for it.” Su Qingsang placed her tray aside and passed the bowl of porridge to Huo Jinyao. “It’s your own fault for falling sick. This is all sick people can eat.”

“You cooked it yourself.”

“Yes.” Su Qingsang nodded her head and passed the bowl over before glaring at Huo Jinyao. “Do not be picky.”

“Why would I?” Huo Jinyao spoke up with a slightly raspy voice. He could not resist adding rather soppily, “The porridge cooked by my wife is the best in the world.”

Su Qingsang glared at him playfully, betraying a hint of humor.

She blew at the porridge lightly to cool it and placed the spoon at Huo Jinyao’s lips. Huo Jinyao regarded Su Qingsang tenderly as he enjoyed his wife’s ministrations.

Su Qingsang fed him slowly and meticulously as if she was used to doing this…

Huo Jinyao met her gaze, smiling at her and observed, “You seem pretty experienced at this.”

“Well, it’s not as if this is the first time I’ve done this.”

Su Qingsang replied evenly, but as she did so, the bowl she was holding trembled slightly in her grasp. She had become intimately familiar with the work of caretaking because of Xiang Caiping.

When Xiang Caiping had injured her hip, Su Qingsang had been given the main responsibility for taking charge of her care in the hospital, even though there were nurses there.

Who was to know that Xiang Caiping was not her biological mother. The last time the two of them had met, it had not gone well.

Xiang Caiping had ignored her, and she had not been able to find the courage to ask Xiang Caiping if she had been doing well.

Su Qingsang’s internal turmoil did not go unnoticed by Huo Jinyao, who thought he knew the likely cause.

“Are you thinking of auntie again?”

Huo Jinyao had always believed that Xiang Caiping was a decent enough person. If she had truly been Su Qingsang’s birth mother, it wouldn’t have been so poor a match at all.

“If you want to see her, I can make arrangements for you.”

Su Qingsang pursed her lips tightly but shook her head decisively in the end. Without speaking, she fed Huo Jinyao the last spoonful of porridge.

“Another bowl, perhaps?”

“Alright.”

Su Qingsang stood up to replenish the bowl of porridge. In truth, she did wish to meet Xiang Caiping again – but what good could come out of it?

Neither Xiang Caiping or herself were capable of resuming the close relationship of their past. It was impossible for them to be mother and daughter anymore.

The last time they had met, the frosty encounter had made Su Qingsang long, regretfully, for the warmth of the past. From time to time, she would think about Xiang Caiping.

During the previous visit she made to Lin City, she had even entertained thoughts of meeting Xiang Caiping. However, due to the lack of time, as well as the fears about anticipated awkwardness that would ensue, she did not go through with it in the end.

Perhaps, given the chance in the future, she could discretely check up on her. She would not need to disturb Xiang Caiping if she only visited to sneak a look at her.

Huo Jinyao ate another bowl of porridge before Su Qingsang gave him his dose.

He was still rather weak and the pallor of his face persisted.

Su Qingsang did some tidying before returning to the bedroom. As she thought of Liu Tongjia’s tale, she still could not see the evil character that Liu Tongjia had spoken of in Huo Jinyao.

“Jinyao.”

She wanted to ask him questions regarding the kidnapping he had experienced in the past, and whether he remembered the things he was accused of.

She wanted to ask him how his brother and sister had died. Had he really caused their deaths?

However, glancing at Huo Jinyao’s frail body, she could not utter these words aloud.

“Hm?”

Su Qingsang did not speak taking out a thermometer instead. “Measure your temperature again. Hopefully, the fever has subsided more by now.”

“I think it has.”

“No point guessing. You need to do a proper check.”

As Huo Jinyao took his temperature, Su Qingsang resumed sitting by his side.

“Does your head still hurt?”

“No,” Huo Jinyao replied, adding, “I never had a headache. It’s just that my body feels weak.”

“After sleeping for an entire day, of course you feel weak!”

Su Qingsang glanced at Jinyao and could not help but nag, “Truly, what were you thinking? You’re a grown man, how could you decide to take a cold shower? Who do you think you are, Superman?”

Huo Jinyao smiled slightly but did not offer an explanation for his hasty cold shower.

Su Qingsang was tempted to push him further but stopped herself after seeing the expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

Huo Jinyao seemed to have sensed that Su Qingsang was not her usual self. “Don’t worry, I am healthy and well. This was an exception.”

In the past, Su Qingfang often felt as though she would never fully understand Huo Jinyao. He frequently kept his thoughts to himself and concealed his emotions.

Now, she felt like she might understand him a little better.

He was visibly ill, leaning heavily against the bed. He was probably wounded emotionally as well – hurt by and misunderstood by Liu Tongjia, his own biological mother.

Despite it all, he acted as if unaffected and covered everything up, with that look of his that that was incongruously both strong, and yet soulful.

Again, in her heart, she felt a slight twinge, a brief pain that she could not ignore.

She sat on the bed beside Huo Jinyao, reached out and kissed him on the lips.

Her actions surprised him a little, but he quickly pushed her away from him.

“I’m still sick.” He had no intention of passing his illness to her.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine.” Su Qingsang’s lips twitched slightly. “I’m hardy enough.”

She moved to kiss him again but Huo Jinyao pushed her back gently. “You’re a doctor. What are you doing? How can you not care about me spreading my germs to you?”

Su Qingsang glanced at Huo Jinyao. Due to his illness, his lips were slightly redder than usual.

He could see the dissatisfied look in her eyes. She smiled and countered. “Yes, I am a doctor. But right now, I’m assuming my other role of being your wife!”

She placed both hands on his shoulders and inched closer to him. “Perhaps if you passed your cold to me, you would recover!”

Huo Jinyao pulled her closer into his warm embrace, as she continued her advances towards him half-serious, and half teasingly.

He pressed her head to his chest and gently caressed her forehead.

“You’re my wife, but I am also your husband. What should we do then? I don’t want you to get sick.”

He lightly kissed Su Qingsang on her forehead. “If you really wish for me to kiss you, hm, you can wait till I’ve recovered.”

This man was playing games again! Su Qingsang lightly smacked his shoulder, playful.

“Be careful, let’s not break the thermometer.”

Huo Jinyao’s words got Su Qingsang to straighten up. She glanced at the time and then took the thermometer from Huo Jinyao.

“38 degrees celsius. Well, you still have a fever. Have an early rest and sleep well. Tomorrow, you should no longer be feverish.”

“Yes, Doctor Su. It’s been hard on you.”

Huo Jinyao spoke in a raspy voice, as Su Qingsang fluffed the pillows around him. “Sleep now. You’re sick and you’re still playing around.”

“My dear, when did I fool around?”

Even as Huo Jinyao spoke, he complied with his wife’s instructions, yawning repeatedly as his medication started to make him feel drowsy.

“Aren’t you sleeping?”

“Let me bathe first.” Su Qingsang tucked Huo Jinyao in. “Sleep first. I’ll join you later.”

When Su Qingsang returned from her bath, Huo Jinyao had long since fallen asleep. As she watched him slumbering peacefully, she felt torn by her decision not to ask her husband the questions plaguing her mind about the kidnapping.

Her sleep that night was shallow and fitful. Occasionally, she would wake to observe Huo Jinyao and ensure he was sleeping soundly, and not suffering any nightmares, before she could return to sleep.

Huo Jinyao was young and fit. So by the next day, when Su Qingsang woke up, he was already mostly recovered.

She saw he was already up – he had his jacket in his hands by then and was preparing to leave the house.

“You’re going to work?” Su Qingsang sat up quickly with clear disapproval written across her face. “Your body is extremely weak, even if your condition has improved. You should get more rest.”

“I’m fine.” Huo Jinyao shook his head. “Not to mention, there are many things to be settled at work. I should attend to them.”

Catching sight of Huo Jinyao’s serious expression, Su Qingsang couldn’t bring herself to persuade him to stay home. “Do not drive, then. Let me send you there. When you finish working, give me a call, and I’ll pick you up too.”

Huo Jinyao did not argue with her. ” I will be honored to have my wife as my personal driver.

Seeing he was back to teasing her again, Su Qingsang knew he probably was feeling well.

Carefully studying Huo Jinyao’s expression, she could sense that the pain and hurt from the previous night were gone.

Su Qingsang felt pain on Huo Jinyao’s behalf again, as her intuition told her he had resumed concealing his emotions, which saddened her greatly.

————

Author’s Note below:

To digress slightly from the story: I realized that some people do not understand the ways of Ms. Huo. You guys have mentioned that you think she is crazy. Let me tell you some truths. Imagine a family where a brother sacrificed his own life to save his younger sister and died. Afterward, the mother of the family had an immense dislike for the surviving sister. They were all her biological children. Setting aside biases in terms of gender, she felt that this daughter had caused her son’s death. When I wrote this story, I had inspiration from that very story, which I saw in the news.

In reality, if someone was in that situation, it would be hard to recover from it.

Take Ms. Huo, for example. In a split second, she lost two children. These two children even died due to Huo Jinyao’s actions (at least, that’s what she believes in her heart). Of course she would take extreme actions to avoid Huo Jinyao! There is a reason for it. Look at Zhang Shaohan’s mother, or perhaps Mei Yanfang’s mother. What wrong did Zhang Shaohan and Mei Yanfang do? However, their mothers treated them so badly nevertheless. One framed her daughter and accused her of taking drugs, another sold her dead daughter’s personal belongings on the Internet, including her underwear, after her death.

As for these two extreme case studies, I cannot understand why there are parents such as them that exist on this Earth. However, the fact is that there are parents like these out there.

In our world, having blood ties does not mean one would automatically forgive another for one’s wrongs. Take my husband’s classmate for instance. His father went on a revenge spree and hurt his mother. Up till now, this classmate has still not forgiven his father. It has been two or three years since he has acknowledged his father. When they meet, they do not speak as well. Upon seeing his father, he would be extremely hostile. He is not willing to live under the same roof as well. After all, that man is still his father. He, however, refuses to acknowledge that.

How do I explain this? In terms of incidents where one’s loved ones hurt them, some people can forget and forgive while others cannot. For those who can, they could smile and wave away the past. For those who cannot, they may hold on to this grudge for the rest of their lives.

Life is sometimes crueler than fiction. Of course, I still wish for everything to live the most peaceful and favorable life possible. Life is an arduous journey indeed!