Chapter 1142 - A Child Who Did Something Wrong
After a long time, Lu Jinnan summoned his courage and said to Bai Xiaonian, “Xiaonian, we will have kids again. Our baby… will return to our side once again!”
Bai Xiaonian felt her eyes sting. She didn’t respond. With her phone in her hand, she said nothing.
Not hearing a reply from Bai Xiaonian, Lu Jinnan considered that Bai Xiaonian hadn’t gotten over the hurdle in her heart. Throat vibrating, he said in a low voice, “Rest well. I’ll be in the adjacent room. If anything’s the matter, call me…”
Still no reply. Lu Jinnan continued, “Let’s go out shopping tomorrow. I’ll accompany you while you pick clothes and necessities you like…”
Bai Xiaonian opened the windows and stood beside them. “Lu Jinnan, do you not understand my intention? I want a divorce… What married couple are you talking about?”
Hearing this, Lu Jinnan opened the door and gazed at Bai Xiaonian from the entrance. Sensing the cold wind, he walked to the windows…
Bai Xiaonian’s countenance didn’t look particularly good. She looked very frail and pale, and the pajamas bought according to Bai Xiaonian’s previous size… looked loose on her!
Now that he was so close to Bai Xiaonian, Lu Jinnan realized that she was much thinner than before.
The chilly wind entered through the windows, and her long hair billowed in the breeze. Her deep collar bone could be seen, and with the large V-neck collar, he could see the bones before her chest.
Lu Jinnan felt his eyes sting. The baby’s departure… must have tormented Bai Xiaonian for a long time!
He closed the windows for Bai Xiaonian. “I understand your intention, but I’m trying my best to let you see my sincerity, to let you see how much I love you, how much I want to be with you forever!”
Bai Xiaonian never once flared up. This was what made Lu Jinnan feel most frightened!
Even if Bai Xiaonian gave him two slaps, he could take it. What he was afraid of was the indifferent attitude of Bai Xiaonian. It was as if he was no longer important to her.
Lu Jinnan didn’t panic because of Bai Xiaonian’s expressionless and exquisite face. He pulled Bai Xiaonian into his arms. “Don’t be scared, Xiaonian. I’m not trying to trap you here. You are free… I only want to stay by your side! Look… I improved, I didn’t force you to sleep in the same room as me. I’ll stay next door until you’re prepared to accept me again!”
Lu Jinnan spoke like a child who did something wrong, carefully showing Bai Xiaonian his repentant heart, hoping she could forgive him just a bit.
“Xiaonian, I know you’re not satisfied with me in some areas. You can tell me, and I’ll change, okay?” Lu Jinnan’s voice was deep.
“But Lu Jinnan…” Bai Xiaonian spoke especially softly. “You have no idea how I survived through the pain. To me, so long as I see you, I’ll recall the past, and my wounds that healed after much difficulty will be revealed all over again!”
Lu Jinnan simply hugged Bai Xiaonian and didn’t utter a word.
“I need to work tomorrow, so I need to rest…” Bai Xiaonian said.
After attending Yuan Yuan’s full month birthday celebration, Bai Xiaonian had been shuttering between US and China, until today, when she finally ended such a way of living for her father’s sake. She had handed over her work in America and officially returned to China.
“Okay!” Lu Jinnan was greedy for the softness in his embrace, yet he was unwilling to defy Bai Xiaonian’s wishes. He carried Bai Xiaonian to the bed and pulled the blanket over her.
“Lu Jinnan, the child’s been lost for a few months now. I’m not so frail that I need someone to carry me…” Bai Xiaonian’s lips were arched coldly.
“You know exactly what to say to prick my heart, don’t you?” Lu Jinnan propped his hands by the sides of Bai Xiaonian’s pillow, a sorrowful smile on his face.
Bai Xiaonian didn’t dispute that.
“Does pricking my heart like that make you feel better?” Lu Jinnan asked.
“A little!”
“Mm!” Lu Jinnan nodded. “If you say you want to part with me, it’ll prick my heart even worse. Or that you want to leave me, all of these will prick my heart. If there are more, I’ll tell you. You can use them all to prick me…”
Bai Xiaonian stared at Lu Jinnan for some time, then laughed softly. “You’re planning to use this tactic to soften my heart.”
“If I can gain your forgiveness, that would be better…”
Lu Jinnan was forthright.
Seeing Bai Xiaonian close her eyes, Lu Jinnan bent over and wanted to kiss her on her forehead, but she flipped over.
The kiss… ultimately landed on Bai Xiaonian’s hair.
Lu Jinnan could sense that Bai Xiaonian… had changed after all.
She was no longer the fiery and flamboyant lady of the past. She had become cold and steady, become… stronger than Lu Jinnan could imagine. She was even able to calmly talk to him about what hurt her in the past.
That volcano-like lady of the past was covered with ice and snow now. But he knew that… somewhere in the depths of Bai Xiaonian’s heart, there was still a fire.
Bai Xiaonian had been suffering from insomnia since she lost her baby. Without sleeping pills, she wouldn’t be able to sleep.
Having been brought there suddenly by Lu Jinnan today, Bai Xiaonian didn’t have her sleeping pills with her. Even if she closed her eyes and pretended she was going to fall asleep, it was destined to be a sleepless night.
She sensed Lu Jinnan get off the bed and quietly leave the room. Only when she heard the door close did Bai Xiaonian open her eyes.
That night was especially long. Bai Xiaonian laid on the bed until her bones felt sore. She then got up and pressed her aching temples, turning on the light. As she walked from the bed to the coffee table to drink some water, she heard Lu Jinnan’s voice through the door. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
The voice sounded a little raspy.
Auntie Dong had initially tidied up the room next to Bai Xiaonian’s, but Lu Jinnan asked Auntie Dong to tidy up the room opposite it instead!
He couldn’t get to sleep, so he sat on the sofa with the door open, staring at the door separating him from Bai Xiaonian as he smoked an entire pack of cigarettes.
Later, he saw Bai Xiaonian’s room light up!
He walked to the door and heard Bai Xiaonian’s footsteps, so he walked over and asked.
Bai Xiaonian gripped the cup in her hands and lowered her gaze as she took a few sips of the chilled water. “Didn’t bring my sleeping pills.”
Standing at the door, Lu Jinnan clenched his fists by his sides. This one casual remark from Bai Xiaonian made Lu Jinnan’s heart ache terribly.
Couldn’t she sleep without sleeping pills?
Fu Huai’an was like that once. Back then… for Fu Huai’an, it was because Jiang Ming’an and Lu Xiangsi had died in Iraq.
Then… for Bai Xiaonian, was it because she lost their child?
“I’ll go get them for you…” Lu Jinnan sounded raspy. “I’ll be back in 20 minutes!”
Lu Jinnan drove off in his casual home clothes.
Bai Xiaonian stood before the French windows, watching as Lu Jinnan went out, turned on his car’s headlights, and drove away.
Previously, Hong Jinyun had said to Bai Xiaonian that despite his cold exterior, Lu Jinnan actually had the softest heart of any man in the world.
It was true that Hong Jinyun was captured and suffered humiliation because of him! It was also true that she was injected with drugs… However, it was Hong Jinyun herself who couldn’t kick the addiction, yet Lu Jinnan pinned all the blame on himself…