Chapter 583 - I Forgive You
Ever since Su Yunjin told Shen Yuechuan about his past, his attitude towards her had always been that they were neither too close nor too distant.
It was precisely this kind of neither-hot-nor-cold attitude that rendered Su Yunjin unable to figure out Shen Yuechuan’s thoughts.
It was not until now that Su Yunjin suddenly realized something;
Shen Yuechuan was not unwilling to forgive her, but neither was he holding a grudge against her.
He was just afraid that he would be unable to recover.
Yes, why didn’t she think of it earlier? In the past, Jiang Ye had been so tough and strong but had still been terrified when he became aware of his illness. So how could Shen Yuechuan not be scared?
The difference was that Shen Yuechuan was not afraid of the disease, but he was afraid that his departure would bring pain to the people around him.
Therefore, he not only stimulated Xiao Yunyun to give him up but also refused to get close to her biological mother.
Shen Yuechuan thought that as long as there was no love between them then his departure wouldn’t cause them pain. When and if he really departed, it would be just like a stone thrown into a calm lake. After some ripples, it would soon return to calmness.
In fact, after knowing about his condition, he had been thinking about her and Xiao Yunyun all the time.
Su Yunjin covered her face with both hands and suddenly started wailing.
Even when she had seen Jiang Ye become so thin that he was almost out of shape, she hadn’t felt so sad and miserable.
“Madam,” a nurse passing by stopped and looked at Su Yunjin. “Are you alright? Do you need help?”
Su Yunjin waved her hand and replied, “I’m fine, thank you.”
The people coming to the hospital would not be short of economic strength. Judging from Su Yunjin’s dress, the nurse could conclude that she was a successful woman.
However, in front of a disease, everyone was equally fragile. The nurse was not sure whether Su Yunjin was sick herself or had a relative with a disease. She just handed Su Yunjin a tissue and then silently left.
Su Yunjin wiped away her tears and walked towards Henry’s office.
At that moment, the conversation between Henry and Shen Yuechuan had just ended. Seeing Su Yunjin, Henry smiled and said, “You came just in time. I’m just going to take Yuechuan for a checkup.”
Su Yunjin nodded and said, “I’ll go with him.”
The wrinkles at the corner of Henry’s mouth bent deeper. He and his assistant led Shen Yuechuan to the examination room for the first test. Su Yunjin followed them.
Shen Yuechuan asked the duration of the test and got the answer that it would take more than two hours for all the tests to finish.
For Shen Yuechuan, who was lacking patience, it was a piece of bad news.
However, no matter how unwilling he was, he still had to accept the tests one after the other. He had heard of some tests but hadn’t heard of the others. Some of the tests had to be conducted by Henry and some others would be done by the assistant…
After more than ten years, Shen Yuechuan once again had the feeling of being handled by others.
Although it was the doctor who was handling him this time, and the doctor held no malice, he still emphasized that this feeling was not good at all.
The only thing Shen Yuechuan could probably accept was Su Yunjin’s gentle and considerate companionship.
There were too many tests, which required going to different floors of the hospital. Su Yunjin followed him all the time without complaining or showing fatigue. She also helped him fill in some information.
Su Yunjin communicated with Henry after the completion of every test, asking for its purpose and how long it would take?
Shen Yuechuan had been to the hospital before but he had always come alone.
One patient registered, the second faced the doctor, and the last person handed in the bill for the medicine.
He didn’t feel anything special. After all, he was not a weak little girl and he didn’t need to be accompanied by his loved ones or friends.
But only now did he realize that there was also someone by his side. Even if she couldn’t help him ease the pain, it was still better than being alone.
Just like the saying ‘a person can solve all problems on his own and it is great, but with friends and relatives by your side, you would never be lonely.’
Moreover, even if something did happen to him at the last minute, she would not have to worry about it. There would never be a time when he was truly alone.
Two hours later, Henry told Shen Yuechuan that he had completed the tests.
Shen Yuechuan heaved a long sigh of relief and asked, “When will I get the results?”
“Wait patiently for two days.” Henry patted Shen Yuechuan’s shoulder. “This time, I want to take things slowly and carefully, one by one. You don’t need to worry, either. Believe in modern medicine and believe in me, okay?”
Shen Yuechuan had no choice but to nod with a smile.
“Alright.” Henry added, “You can leave now. It’s would be good to have a meal or a cup of coffee.”
Outside the hospital building, Shen Yuechuan stopped and looked at Su Yunjin. “Let’s have dinner together.”
Su Yunjin’s eyes lit up with joy as she tried her best to suppress the excitement in her voice, “Sure.”
Shen Yuechuan took out his mobile phone and asked, “Do you want to eat Chinese or Western?”
“Let’s go for Chinese.” Su Yunjin replied in a helpless tone, “I’ve been fed up with Western food after being abroad for more than ten years. If you wanted to eat authentic Chinese food there then you had to drive a long way. We should make full use of it with such a convenient domestic environment.”
Shen Yuechuan didn’t care about it. After hearing Su Yunjin’s words, he made a phone call to Moon Chasing House and asked the manager to temporarily arrange a table for two.
In the interval of the phone call, Shen Yuechuan had already driven the car out of the garage. He stopped the car and came down to open the door for Su Yunjin.
The hospital was not far from Moon Chasing House. Within thirty minutes, Shen Yuechuan’s car was parked in front of the restaurant. A waiter came up to open the door and led Shen Yuechuan and Su Yunjin to the dining room.
After sitting down, Shen Yuechuan handed the menu to Su Yunjin, but she did not even look at it. She just ordered a few dishes without pondering.
Shen Yuechuan noticed that the dishes ordered by Su Yunjin were all century-old specialties of this restaurant. Since the beginning of the restaurant’s business, they had been on the menu and he felt a little strange about it.
Su Yunjin seemed to have seen through Shen Yuechuan’s doubts. She smiled and clarified, “This is my favorite tea restaurant. I haven’t eaten here in many years, but I still remember the taste and the dishes here.”
She seemed to be lost in memories. After a pause, she went on to say, “Back then, I also told your father about this restaurant. We made an appointment to come and eat the famous dishes here after graduation.”
After that, Su Yunjin looked at Shen Yuechuan, and her eyes became somewhat dim. Shen Yuechuan really looked a lot like Jiang Ye.
The only difference might be his temperament.
At that time, Jiang Ye gave people a clean and comfortable feeling without any threat. He was so gentlemanly that people couldn’t help but have the desire to get close to him.
On the other hand, Shen Yuechuan was the complete opposite. He was frivolous and elegant, like a wild wind, and would not take root anywhere. The girls should avoid him as much as they could.
But the terrible part was that his facial features were so good that they gave him a fatal attraction under the fine conditions. His words, actions, and gestures were all giving off a strong attraction, making people involuntarily focus on him.
No wonder Xiao Yunyun, who was usually calm and rational, could not escape from Shen Yuechuan’s attraction, just like Su Yunjin could never forget Jiang Ye in her life.
Su Yunjin’s smile was mixed with a hint of bitterness, “Unfortunately, he didn’t have the chance to taste the old specialty dishes here. His taste was always very light, so he liked these kinds of dishes very much…”
Shen Yuechuan thought about it and asked, “When he left, was it painful?”
“…”
“…”
“No.” Su Yunjin replied, “When he left, you were in his arms and I was by his side. He would have only felt regret, but no pain.”
Something was surging violently in Shen Yuechuan’s heart. He looked down and tried to control himself to not imagine the scene.
He had asked the wrong person. When his father left, the person who was in pain should be Su Yunjin.
Su Yunjin wiped off the tears from the corner of her eyes and took out a blue envelope from the bag before handing it to Shen Yuechuan.
Born in the internet era, Shen Yuechuan had not received an enveloped letter for more than 10 years. He couldn’t help asking, “What is this?”
“Your father left it for you,” Su Yunjin said. “Before he died, he left two letters in the hands of Henry. One is for me and the other… he told Henry to tell me to give it to you when you’re eighteen. I’m sorry, I’m late for many years.”
Shen Yuechuan took the envelope. The palm-sized thing was less than a centimeter thick, but when he held it in his hand, he felt that it weighed a tonne.
This was the only relationship between him and his father, whom he had never met.
“I don’t know what he said to you in the letter.” For so many years, Su Yunjin had never read the letter. “I am afraid that he blamed me for abandoning you, so I never dared to read it.”
Shen Yuechuan took the letter as if he was collecting something vital. “I really don’t blame you for abandoning me that year, and you don’t need to blame yourself.”
“…” Su Yunjin looked at Shen Yuechuan. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t.
“In that situation, giving up me was the best choice,” Shen Yuechuan said, “Otherwise, I don’t know where Su Hongyuan would have sent me to, and it would have been impossible for me to meet Boyan and Mu Qi. My life might have been worse than that in an orphanage.”
Su Yunjin asked in a trembling voice, “Do you really think so?”
“Exactly,” Shen Yuechuan said. “When I was a child, I did blame you. I even hated you and my father. But now, I’ve let it go, so you don’t have to keep it in your heart. I’m serious.”
Su Yunjin could not hold back and burst into tears.
She held a piece of tissue and constantly wiped the tears rolling down from the corners of her eyes, but they seemed to be endless. Finally, she simply covered her face with her hands and pressed the tissue on her eyes.
The experience of abandoning Shen Yuechuan had always been a knot in Su Yunjin’s heart.
For so many years, she had never seen daylight at the bottom of her heart, but she kept a fresh vitality, tightening it from time to time, which made her feel a sharp pain, which made her feel more regretful and sadder than the departure of Jiang Ye.
Under this kind of inhumane mental torture, Su Yunjin was troubled by nightmares all year round. She always dreamed of Jiang Ye and Shen Yuechuan, who was just born.
She dreamt that Jiang Ye was blaming her for not taking good care of their child. She dreamt that Shen Yuechuan, who was still a baby, was growing up little by little, but he enunciated each word that he would hate her for a lifetime and would never forgive her.
Su Yunjin once thought that she would never have the chance to make up for it and that she would never be forgiven by her child.
Hence, for many years, she didn’t even dare to try looking for Shen Yuechuan.
It wasn’t until she received the call from Henry that she realized that she couldn’t be irresponsible. She couldn’t just let their child repeat the tragedy of Jiang Ye because of her own fears.
Later, she began searching for Shen Yuechuan, but Lu Boyan deliberately protected the information of his whereabouts. As a result, she searched all over the United States but found nothing.
However, the God of Luck was still willing to take care of her. In order to attend Su Yicheng’s wedding, she set foot on the homeland that she had parted with for more than 20 years.
As soon as she got out of the airport, she found her only son in the most familiar place…